


Surrender

by Thorins_mistress



Series: Relinquish Series [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-05-12
Updated: 2003-05-12
Packaged: 2017-10-16 21:45:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/169669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thorins_mistress/pseuds/Thorins_mistress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An older fic (drabble!fic from the Beloved Enemies community from *ages* ago), based on the word "relinquish."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surrender

**Author's Note:**

> re·lin·quish  
> Pronunciation: ri-'li[ng]-kwish, -'lin-  
> Function: transitive verb  
> Etymology: Middle English relinquisshen, from Middle French relinquiss-, stem of relinquir, from Latin relinquere to leave behind, from re- + linquere to leave -- more at LOAN  
> Date: 15th century  
> 1 : to withdraw or retreat from : leave behind  
> 2 : GIVE UP  
> 3 a : to stop holding physically : RELEASE b : to give over possession or control of : YIELD

He gave me up. Left me. That wasn’t how he said it, though. I don’t remember much, except something about Voldemort and that it was for my own good that he “relinquish” his hold on me before…. He never finished that sentence. Voldemort called him, and he had to go, leaving me with a whispered goodbye. I don’t think he heard my plea of “Lucius….”

***

I’ve had to relinquish too much in my life. All to that bastard, Voldemort. First Narcissa, then Draco, and now Harry. Harry was the hardest. He is the most difficult to keep away from: every day finds me forcing myself into some mundane task to keep me from apparating straight into his apartment at Hogsmeade, especially since I know the wards won’t repel me. No, because Harry never listens to me. Even when I told him I had to leave, I knew he would hold out hope that I would come back. But I can’t.

***

I miss him. Our hearts bonded somehow, I know this. I can’t feel him so much as I just know that he’s alive. I hope he thinks on me as often as I do of him. It’s not fair that everyone I love has to leave, give me up like a favorite toy that they’ve outgrown. That’s how I feel sometimes-that I am like a toy that one has to “grow into,” but by the time that happens, I’m not truly wanted anymore.

I’m with you, Lucius. Please come back.

***

I feel him. What torture this is. I know that he wants me back. I can feel his self-consciousness bleeding into everything he does-he wonders if anyone truly loved him, since everyone he’s loved has left. My Harry. We have no choice in our leaving. This is a perilous time, and if we relinquish you, well, there’s a chance that perhaps someday we’ll actually get to be with you again.

\---

The war is over, my Harry. Not the way we wanted it to end, I’ll grant you. Voldemort wasn’t supposed to win. But now I’m glad that I relinquished my hold on you when I did. There is no suspicion on me now when I ask the Dark Lord for you as my own. I yield my power to him so that I can hold you again. Please forgive me, Harry.

***

This is not what I pictured when I thought of you coming back to me, Lucius. Instead of happy years together with friends and children, I’m your pet. I wait daily in the dark for your gentle touches; they are what keep me alive, otherwise…. I never realized how hard it is to relinquish your soul.


End file.
